Why I'm not a cowgirl - Part 2

If you missed last week’s humor post Why I’m Not a Cowgirl, Part 1, you’ll want to go here:
http://pennyzeller.wordpress.com/2012/05/15/why-im-not-a-cowgirl-part-1/

And now, the continuation…

I was riding Ace calmly on the mountain trail through a gorgeous meadow. Of course, horseback riding is no problem for an award-winning horsewoman (ok, I’m exaggerating a bit), right?

Wrong.

We continue riding through some of God’s most gorgeous Creation. Ace and I are getting along fine when Ace stops for a long drink and refuses to start walking again.  For what seemed like forever, there was nothing I could do to make Ace budge. I began to wonder if perhaps Ace wasn’t a Buckskin, but a mule.

“Don’t worry,” I tell my nervous self as the rest of family disappears into the sunset.  “Ace is only stopping for a quick drink of water.”

The minutes grow longer…

And longer…

Uh…where did everybody go?

Finally, just when I was giving up all hope, Ace begins to walk again. And I heave a sigh of relief.  That’s when Ace decided that he would show me who was the boss.

Why is it that when you’ve let your guard down that the unexpected happens?

Ace stopped, backed up, then with lightening speed, jumped over a log railing. It was like in those horse movies with the “jumper horses.”

Unprepared, I screamed with a scream that echoed through the entire forest.

Ace came back down to the ground with a thud. Lon looked behind him to see me with my sunglasses off my face, my hair disheveled, and my demeanor anything but calm. He told me he wished he’d had the camera as it was truly a Kodak moment.

But, that was all right. I am a cowgirl, right?

Wrong.

We came to another stream and again Ace decided to take a drink. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw my youngest daughter’s horse, Betsy Hombre, stop to take a drink too and that’s when he lost his temper. Rearing his head back, he bit my daughter’s horse in the ear, causing me to fear my daughter would be bucked off her horse.

So not only did I have a horse who liked water and loved to scare me to death by jumping over log railings, but I also was riding a horse who was a territorial grump.

Later, Ace decided to have another fit. His ears went back and the next thing I knew, he was bucking and kicking his legs behind him. I prayed and hung on for dear life.

Many thoughts went through my head as Ace pretended to be a rodeo horse, one of which was the fact that my eight seconds was almost up.

For a moment I was transformed from my quiet life into the life of a bull rider in front of millions of guests in the packed stands at one of the biggest rodeo performances in my life…

The crowd was cheering as the animal tried every attempt to unsuccessfully dislodge me from his back…

Fearless (not really) I hung on with only one hand and with the other waved it in the air. My cowboy hat securely on my

head I made proud my parents who had worked 16 jobs at one time to put me through cowgirl school…

After that brief break, we return to the real story. For the record, I was scared, I’ve never been to a cowgirl school, and my parents never worked 16 jobs at once.

I began to dream of a more relaxing time…

Several times, Ace would spontaneously take off into a bumpy gallop. Clutching the reigns, I hung on the best I could. I tried to relax and let the wind blow through my hair, but the ride was too bumpy and too fast for this novice.

When we returned to camp later that afternoon, I was more than thankful to be done with my horseback riding experience. My daughters could talk of nothing else the rest of the day other than their wonderful and exciting horseback rides. I wanted to talk about anything else except my day as a cowgirl.

The next morning, I awoke with welts on my behind and aches and pains everywhere else.

If you find yourself in a similar circumstance, rest assured you’ll know right away, as I did, that you’re not a cowgirl!

From here on out, this girl is sticking to a safer mode of transportation!

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