Real-life Funnies

Penny Zeller, Christian Author
And now we interrupt this blog for some real-life funnies!

1. A case of mistaken identity.

The other day my daughters and I were at the local YMCA where we spend most of our time. I’m seriously thinking of just moving in with sleeping bags and suitcases since it already feels as though we live there due to my girls’ nonstop athletic activities.

The day was long and we’d just finished with practice. As we walked through the crowded hallway, I saw a man I knew from church. “Hi J.R.!” I exclaimed. “How are you?”

He smiled and nodded. “Fine. And you?”

“Doing good,” I answered.

It wasn’t until we arrived home and I was cooking dinner that I realized something very disturbing about the acquaintance from church named J.R. I had called him the wrong name! His name wasn’t J.R. It was Nathan!

2.  Nicknames for classmates who are boys.

The other day my oldest announced to me that our youngest was in trouble for calling the boys in her class at school names. “Doodle,” I asked our youngest, “What were calling the boys at school?”

I braced myself for the worst.

“Mom, they were swinging on the swings at school,” Doodle answered, trying to avoid the question.

“That’s fine, but what were you calling them?” I asked.

“Chihuahuas,” she muttered.

“Mom, the boys got mad at her,” announced tattletale Sunshine. “They don’t like being called Chihuahuas.”

I spent the next several minutes explaining to Doodle why no one wants to be called a dog…

No matter how cute they are, no one wants to be called a dog.

3. Back for seconds…and thirds…and fourths…

Those of you who follow my blog know that my grandpa, Papa, passed away in December, 2009, and I love sharing memories of him. During one of our visits with my grandparents, Lon took Papa out for lunch at the all-you-can-eat buffet at the Golden Corral. Lon laughed as he recounted to me later the story of how Papa, who was on a restricted diet due to heart disease, took full advantage of the lunch – a lunch without my grandma there to keep an eye on him.

For starters, Papa put a small  baked potato and a piece of meatloaf on his plate. “It’s good to be healthy,” Papa told Lon.

Would Papa’s secret be safe with Lon?

After Papa quickly finished the baked potato and meatloaf, he went for seconds. Lon figured he’d come back with more “healthy”‘ foods…maybe some green beans, salad, or steak.

Not so. Papa had loaded his plate with several slices of chocolate pie. He then returned to the buffet line for chocolate cake…not once, not twice, but several times more. “Now, this is just between us,” said Papa in between bites of chocolate cake. “Don’t tell Nanie [my grandma] about how I’m having a few pieces of cake.”

Lon nodded. Yes, some things were left best between a man and his grandpa.

4. Kids say the funniest things…

I love the things that come out of the mouths of babes. Sunshine and Doodle were playing with their toy horses the other day. Eavesdropping, I heard Sunshine say, “Now, Doodle, you pretend that you are nine-years-old and middle-aged.” My eyes popped out of my head. Since when was nine-years-old middle aged…and more importantly…as one in my 30s, what did that make me? An antique? A fossil?

I’d love to hear some of your real-life funnies! As Proverbs 15:13 tells us,  “a happy heart makes the face cheerful….”

Be sure to check out my other recent humor post about some hilarious names parents name their children in What’s in a Name…

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11 thoughts on “Real-life Funnies

  1. Thanks for the funnies! Since my brain surgery, my Dr. actually told me to watch Andy Griffith and Lucy. He said those types of shows really help the brain….oh well…it gives me a good excuse not to have to watch HORROR or SCAREY shows! Hugs, Teela

    • Wow, Teela! I didn’t realize you had brain surgery! Praising God you made it through that. I think that’s fascinating that funny shows like Andy Griffith and Lucy are beneficial for the brain. I hope you have a wonderful week!

  2. The other day we were joking around that Craig should run for president or mayor. Munchkin piped up from the backseat of the car, “Daddy, you can’t run for president. The President has to work every single day, except holidays, and you’d have no time for me!” – so cute!!!

  3. Penny~

    I can relate to Lon on the highway travel. I hate to be passed.

    I have to set my cruise and do my best to ignore what’s going on in the other lane…within reason, of course.

    Also, I think you must look a little like your Papa did when he was young. Something around the eyes and the cheekbones…

  4. I loved them!!! A great smiling addition to my day!

    This is more of a sweet than a funny, but Cal (4 yrs old) decided last night it was my birthday (actually Sept) and asked me for saucers for his cake (imaginary). He sat me at his little table in his little chair, which I wasn’t sure I was going to make it out of, (he has also pulled it out for me) and preceeded to “cut” the cake with his hands and put it on the saucers. We “ate” cake for about an hour because every time we would gobble it up, he would have “one more” to server to me. It was so special to me he used his imagination to make a nice time just for me. I sure do love that little boy!

  5. Here is my funny of the week:

    My office is off our master bedroom. My desk tucked back in this private room, which looks like workroom of many projects. It was late. I had only the lamp on. My offend over heard just this “you turned me on, really you must have turned me on”. I did not know my husband had walked into our bedroom, only that he said, “you better be talking to Dawn.” Dawn is my cousin, close friend and business partner. I had told my husband that she and I had to talk after all the kids were in bed, and that one statement is all he heard.

    When I realized what he had heard, Dawn started laughing on the other end of the phone and when I realized what I husband had heard I too started laughing so hard. I could hardly spit out what we were talking about. All that resonated was my husband hearing, “you turned me on, really you must have turned me on.”

    After collecting myself from the tears of laughter I explained that Dawn was having problems with Twitter. Her cell phone was jingling ever time I tweeted. I was explaining to her that she must have clicked the cell phone icon and that she did in fact “turned me on” Oh my goodness still laughing at this one even as I write. Happy Weekend Funny Elizabeth

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