Giveaway and guest post with author Rita Schulte!!!

In my own ministry, I have a passion for ministering to women through Bible studies and Sisters in Christ gatherings. As such, I am honored to have fellow author and friend Rita Schulte as my guest today. Rita is a gifted writer who blogs about the important issues of life through a Biblical perspective, gained from her experience as a counselor.

Rita also hosts a live radio podcast called Heartline, which features guests including John Trent, Mary DeMuth, Cecil Murphy, and Emmerson Eggerichs to name a few.

I am thrilled that Rita stopped by today to talk about moving through life in the midst of disappointment. She is also giving away a Starbucks giftcard to one commenter. All the details about how to enter are below. But for now, please welcome Rita Schulte…

Our world is in constant turmoil today. Everyone seems to be defending a cause or fighting a battle of some sort. Whether it’s the war on terrorism, defending the cause of morality, sexual equality, the right to life, or the right to choose, our fight is always indicative of our passion and tells the story of what we hold dear.

But somewhere wedged in between our causes and the wars we fight lays a different kind of battle. One we often miss because we don’t always pay close attention— it is perhaps the most important battle we will ever enter into—the battle for our hearts.  Why is this battle so important? Because our hearts matter to God; and he calls us to guard them with all diligence.

I know—fighting a battle for our hearts seems more like something out of a romance novel than an article on rules of engagement. But if you and I are going to move through the losses of life, we must devise and be intentional about executing a battle plan to care for our hearts after losses assault.  In other words, we must learn the rules of engagement.

The first step in this process is to notice how the difficult places in our lives have affected us—at the heart level. Next, we need to identify each person, circumstance, or event that hurt us or broken our hearts. Then we need to put words to our pain.

Devising a Battle Plan

All of our losses are important, and each one has shaped our beliefs about self, God and the world around us, so it’s important we identify both the relational and abstract losses we have incurred in order to process our pain. Relational losses are pretty straightforward and would include loss due to death, divorce, or betrayal. Abstract losses are less recognizable. They could include:

  • Shattered dreams or unmet expectations
  • Loss of a possession
  • Loss of trust, hope, or faith
  • Loss of health or safety
  • Role loss
  • Loss of self-esteem, or identity
  • Loss of childhood or innocence

You may begin this journey of self-discovery with an identifiable loss, or you may discover hidden losses that you have never stopped to consider.

To begin, pray. Ask God to help you identify the losses in your life, and record each one. Then put feeling words to your pain.

Next, list what you had hoped for, or expected from this person or situation. This will translate into your loss. Then write down what you will need to trust God for as a result of this unmet expectation. Your list should look something like this:

Offense/Loss      Relational Loss—Best friend

What Happened

Betrayed a confidence by…..

 How I felt

Anger, hurt, disappointment, betrayed….

What I hoped for, or expected

Her loyalty to our friendship. Loss of trust, faith, role as her friend

What I will trust Christ for—-my security

Additional ideas for putting words to your pain could include: journaling, writing a letter, writing an autobiography to tell the story of your losses, or talking to a trusted friend. The key is to do what feels right for you.

All these exercises are designed to help you engage with your pain and keep a check on your emotional pulse. If any of your losses have left you with regret, unfinished business, bitterness, or an unforgiving spirit, take the time to learn about forgiveness. A great resource is Dr. Everette Worthington’s work on forgiveness and reconciling.

Putting it All Together

How you respond to hurt and pain will affect you for the rest of your life, because loss has a cumulative effect on your heart. If we don’t allow ourselves to touch or connect of the losses of our lives, if they are denied the expression of emotion, sooner or later we’ll find that our hearts will grow cold, frozen under layers of unrecognized hurt and pain.

Once you have completed your list, it’s time to put it all together by deciding. Here are some things you need to consider:

  • How long will I need to grieve this loss? What will that look like?
  • What beliefs have I formed about self, God and others from these losses?
  • Do I need to forgive myself, God or another person to move forward?
  • Is there any unfinished business attached to this loss that needs attention?
  • Is there anything hindering me from moving on?
  • What next steps do I need to take to move forward?
  • Do I need professional help?

Taking care of our hearts can be messy business. Most of us would rather avoid the process altogether, fearing that if we connect with our pain, it will shatter us. The truth is, burying our heads in the sand will only prolong the process. We will continue to experience a low-grade pain or depression for years to come.

The Lord’s command “to guard our hearts with all diligence” begins with noticing what’s happening to them as the issues of life unfold. So begin today. Become a noticer, and follow the rules of engagement to fight the most important battle of your life. You won’t be sorry you took the risk.

Thank you so much, Rita, for being my guest this week. Readers, here’s your chance to win a $20 Starbucks giftcard! Here’s all you do…

1. Stop over at Rita’s blog at

2. Come back and leave her a comment (on this blog) about what you found to be the most helpful on her site. (Be sure to come back here to leave your comment!!!)

Yep, that’s all there is to it! Giveaway ends on June 21, 2012 and a winner will be chosen at random. Anyone in the U.S. can enter and subscribers receive two entries.

33 thoughts on “Giveaway and guest post with author Rita Schulte!!!

  1. Thanks Rita. I signed up for your newsletter. You have helped me to remember what a wonderful solution “surrender” is to any problem. If I simply lay it at the feet of Jesus, I have done the best thing possible. The most difficult part is letting go but I’ll keep trying

  2. The info re dealing with past hurts, resentments and broken dreams is profound! I Loved the follow up plan on how to deal with it! Such wonderful advice to deal with life on life’s terms. I signed up for the newsletter…I want MORE!!! 🙂 Thanks Penny~as always you are Awesome! ❤

  3. I loved Rita’s blog. Her sentiments re embracing whatever life hands us, and allowing ourselves to submit to God’s will relatively cheerfully, echo what I have felt for a long time. It’s refreshing to hear someone else say it too! Thanks. Nancy Meacham-Cole, aka Marriott Cole

  4. I loved reading the Control Freak blog. It made me realize what a control freak I am and how I have to work on that and give more over to Him

  5. Pingback: Interview and giveaway with Author Deborah Bateman!!! « Penny Zeller ~ A Day in the Life of a Wife, Mom, & Author

  6. I always enjoy Tracy Ruckman’s writing and liked her article on being vulnerable. I also loved the wheat banner that was over her article (under the “Consider This” link). Beautiful symbol of God’s provision in times of need (but then, I’m a Kansas farm girl, so I would love that image.)

  7. I read the “Control Freak” post and learned that “I need to be willing to experience all the angst that goes along with losing control, and depend solely on God”.

    I would love to win the Starbucks card!

  8. I really appreciate that the website is a place to direct people who are facing all variety of issues. People are able to get sound advice with the foundation being upon God’s word.

    Of particular interest to me was the blog post on Hoodoos. We don’t have them down here in Dixie.

    Thanks for the offer to win Starbucks on the card. It is a win/win situation. I have already won by having knowledge of the helpful website and should I win the card I will enjoy the special treat. God is sweet!

    Blessings, Janice jsmithg(at)hotmail(dot)com

  9. I liked the control freak post and it was a good reminder for me that we don’t always need to understand the whys or how comes but all that God asks of us is to trust Him with everything; to just trust and obey HIm each day…each moment….with each detail of our lives.

  10. Wow! Thank you, everyone, for stopping by! Rita is an amazing writer and has helped so many with her sound Biblical advice and knowledge. Thank you, Rita, for being my guest!

    Stay tuned…as soon as the contest is over, I will be announcing the winner!

  11. Well I really enjoyed all of the site, but as I was reading the book blurb about Sifted As Wheat it kinda hit home a little. I think this book is one I need to read and study…..I can wait until it is published. I also signed up for your newsletter so I can keep in touch!
    And would also love a trip to Starbucks taking a 20.00 gift card with me 🙂
    As everyone else would too!
    Blessings…and Thank you Penny for having Rita so that we could meet her!

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