Time goes by in a blink, and if we aren’t careful, marriages can be neglected in the name of busyness.
So how can we draw closer to our spouse?
1. Take time alone with your spouse. You hear this all the time, but do you realize how important it is? Even if it’s lunch once a week or a weekend getaway, time alone without the kids is crucial. Swap babysitting days with your closest friends. Be creative!
One thing to remember is that time alone with your spouse does not equal a hefty price tag. One of my favorite pastimes with my husband, Lon, is to meet him on the front porch for a chat about our day when he arrives home from work. It’s a time for both of us to decompress, talk about our day, and reconnect.
Other great ideas?
A walk or bike ride together after dinner,
Challenging your spouse to a card game after the kids are in bed,
Going out for ice cream.
2. Take time to forgive. Lon and I have been married 26 years and trust me, there have been a few times when we’ve gotten on each other’s last nerve. Yes, really! So, are there things that bother you about your spouse? Pray God will help you to forgive. Pray not that God will change your spouse, but that He would change the way you respond to the things your spouse does. Pray you would respond in a God-honoring way and draw upon His grace to do just that!
3. Take time to be thoughtful. One of Lon’s favorite foods is No-Bake Cookies (if you don’t believe me, please see my post gluten free delicious no-bake cookie recipe and how Lon overdosed on them! As such, I routinely make these cookies for him as a way to show him how much I love him.
As a writer of Christian romance, Lon shows his love for me by listening to the latest chapter, even though Christian romance novels are far from his list of favorite genres!
Leave each other notes in the morning, call each other, or send each other texts or emails in the middle of the day. Lon and I have had a “running” note at times where we try to cram all we can on a little piece of paper that carries through everyday throughout the week. It can be silly, lovey-dovey, or a combination of both!
One of my favorite notes had these words on it added by Lon: “This is a recycled note.” 🙂
The takeaway? Ask God to help you be a blessing to your spouse.
4. Take time to reminisce. Oftentimes, in the hurried rush of life, we aren’t as patient as we should be with our spouses. We tend to see flaws more readily when life is stressful and overwhelming or when we ourselves may be feeling neglected.
Instead of the negative, focus on the positive.
Take the time to reminisce with your spouse about some of the funny and/or unforgettable memories you have shared as a couple. Lon and I recently laughed about the time we were grounded in an emergency landing due to weather from a vacation we took 17 years ago. The airline hired a commercial bus to drive the passengers on the plane to the next airport, which was four hours away in good weather.
Interestingly, (and perhaps a little bizarre) the bus only had one movie for the onboard DVD player. Yep, you’re right if you guessed the movie Speed. The driver played the movie twice over, as we drove through icy slushy and dangerous roads at a too-fast-for-conditions speed.
Not to worry – we had an idea to take our minds off of the situation. I drew pictures of each person on the bus and Lon guessed who it was. Since I’m not an artist and am rather comical in my sketches, it wasn’t an easy feat to Lon to decode. Nevertheless, he guessed correctly on each drawing. And yes, I still have that little black wire-bound notebook with the “People on the Bus” contained within its pages.
You share a history with your spouse. Rekindle some of those fond memories!
What a precious gift the Lord has given you in your spouse. Take the time to relish your time together – something that will only further cement the love that binds together what God created – marriage.
6 thoughts on “4 ways to reconnect with your spouse”
These 4 tips are so important! I love that they are simple and foundational to help build a strong marriage!