7 tips to help safeguard against an entitlement attitude in your kids

Consider the following:

An adult in her late 20s was fired from her job for not showing up for work several days in a row without a valid excuse. Her dad proceeded to go to the place of business and share his feelings, albeit abrasively, with the boss.

A teenage boy disregards the rules at the local movie theater and puts his feet on the seat in front of him and sends texts during the entire movie. He doesn’t think the rules apply to him.

A 10-year-old really wanted a puppy. When she didn’t get the one she wanted, she made sure to make her disappointment well known by having hysterical fits and giving her parents the silent treatment.

A child loses in a competition and his mother persuades the judges to award all of the participants a trophy, stating that it is unfair for there to be a “First Place.”

A teen is angry because her friend won the award she wanted. She decides to spread false rumors about her friend as “payback.”

A dad yells at a coach because his daughter was not put on the team he thought she “deserved” to play on.

What do all of these examples have in common? They fit the definition of entitlement.

According to the Merriam-Websters Online Dictionary, entitlement is the “belief that one is deserving of or entitled to certain privileges.”

In a society where the “me first” mentality is becoming ever more prevalent, what can we, as parents, do to help safeguard an entitlement attitude in our kids?

Teach your kids the importance of respecting authority. The Bible has a lot to say about this topic. Romans 13:1 says, “Everyone must submit to governing authorities. For all authority comes from God, and those in positions of authority have been placed there by God.”

The first authority children have is their parents. The Bible is clear about this topic in Exodus 20:12, Ephesians 6:1-3, Proverbs 1:8, and many other verses. If a child has not been taught to honor and respect their parents, how will they be able to honor and respect others placed in authority over them? Teachers, coaches, police officers, etc.?

Encourage a teachable spirit. Pride is a forerunner to a selfish and entitled attitude, so reinforcing a spirit of humility is key. The Bible talks of the importance of a teachable spirit in Proverbs 9:9 and Proverbs 12:1. No one knows everything and it’s important for children to learn that early in life.

Teach your children compassion. Jesus had great compassion in the Bible for those who  suffered, were ill, struggled, and were mistreated. John 13:1-7 details the account of Jesus washing his disciples’ feet. What an act of service! Teach your children to serve others less fortunate. By doing so, this takes the focus off of themselves. Soon, it will become a habit to serve others, rather than themselves. Make it a point in your family to do regular volunteer work.

Remind your children the dangers of jealousy. Each time a story of jealousy is in the Bible, it never ends well. Think of Cain and Abel, Joseph of the Old Testament and his brothers, and Saul and David. Whenever envy rears it’s ugly head, encourage your children to pray about their struggle so that it does not give way to full-blown envy, which is a sin.

Teach your kids to have a heart of gratitude. If your children have gratitude for what they are and what they have, there will be no room in their lives for jealousy. An excellent way to do this is to encourage them to give thanks often to God and to those around them for the things they have.

Enforce proper consequences. The perfect way to promote an entitlement attitude is to avoid giving your kids consequences for bad behavior.

Don’t coddle your kids or do everything for them. At some point they will be adults, and at that point, they will need to take responsibility.

It’s not easy to combat selfishness and a “me” attitude, especially in the current climate in which we live. But with prayer and perseverance, we can break the destructive cycle of entitlement.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The 13 Types of Facebook People

Ever given thought to the different types of people on Facebook? Perhaps you might recognize a few of these from your timeline feed. 🙂

1. The Daily Diary – She chronicles everything in her life in play-by-play fashion. Everything from what she ate at her last meal to what she wears, to the things that irritate her…everything is journaled as a Facebook post every hour on the hour nearly every day.
2. The Encourager – A somewhat rare breed, the encourager’s main goal in life is to post Scripture verses, quotes, and images to inspire others. She is on Facebook, not for herself, but for the benefit of brightening the days of her Facebook friends.
3. Contrary Larry – You weren’t looking to get into a debate when you posted that harmless photo of your dog, but Contrary Larry always has a contradictory or disagreeable statement to make about everything.
4. The Stalker – This lurking-type individual rarely posts anything of her own, but continually stalks the posts of others. She quite often says things, such as, “Hey, you were on Facebook last night at precisely 9:45 p.m. How come you didn’t answer the message I sent to you?” Could be because stalkers are well…creepy.
5. The Perpetual Poster – You know the type. He posts constantly. Did I mention constantly? Seven, eight, nine posts within a two-hour span is not uncommon for the Perpetual Poster. Looking to find the one in a million posts of his that was actually interesting? Good luck. You’ll be sifting through a gazillion posts.
6. The Never Like-er – Quick to admit that she prefers not to like anyone else’s posts, the Never Like-er demands you like her posts in a strange double-standard sort of way. Of course, if you don’t like her posts and she corners you at Walmart, she’s sure to let you know she’s offended by your lack of social interaction on social media.
7. The True Friend – A rare breed indeed, the true friend appreciates the value of interaction on Facebook. Not only does she value such interaction, she’s the first to offer to pray when you post prayer requests.
8. Vanishing Vance – One minute this odd friend is active on Facebook. The next minute, he has taken a break and closed his account. The following week, he’s reactivated his account and so on. Poor guy can’t make up his mind.
9. Chatty Charlie – It doesn’t matter whose Facebook wall he’s on, Chatty Charlie is sure to carry on a conversation starting in the comments. Before you know it, Chatty Charlie has engaged in conversation with another “commenter” on your wall about nothing that even pertains to the original post. Thankfully, about 35 posts later, C.C. realizes the conversation is going nowhere and moves on to the next post.
10. Selfie Sally – As vain as they come, Selfie Sally is sure to have several posts of herself each week. Word on the street is that she actually invented the selfie stick.
11. Mr. Political – Sure, I like a good chat about politics every now and then, but Mr. Political is way overboard. Every. Single. Post. Is about politics and if you dare disagree with him? Your friend count just went down one.
12. Perpetual Test-Taker Tammy – What type of flower are you? In what state should you live? If there’s a personality test on the internet, Perpetual Test-Taker Tammy has taken it –  and has posted about it.
13. The Photo-Shop Queen – Not a wrinkle or spot of cellulite on her, the Photo-Shop Queen painstakingly removes all imperfections, including the tiny mole on her forearm.  In short, she looks like a model. At first, you think perhaps she hasn’t aged at all since your high school graduation back in 1954. But then, when you see her at your 40th class reunion, you think maybe her account has been hacked and someone has changed all her photos. 🙂

What types of Facebook people have you encountered?

Age is in the mind of the beholder

My grandma cracks me up. A Swedish cutie in her mid-80s, Nanie has a very positive perspective on aging – her own aging, that is.

While we chatted this past week by phone (she lives 650 miles away), she told me about a friend of hers who is being stubborn. “But you know how old people are,” said Nanie. “They are just set in their ways sometimes.”

She then later mentioned how she volunteers for her church at a place that “serves old people.” Nanie said that it seems these days that everyone she knows is getting older, but not her. “Sure,” she admitted, “I have some wrinkles that have increased with time, but nowhere else am I getting older.”

Wow! I wish I could say the same! 🙂

This isn’t the first time Nanie has talked with me about “the old people.” Each time she does, I can’t help but laugh.

And appreciate her positive attitude when it comes to aging.

A spry and feisty lady if there ever was one, I hope that when I’m in my mid-80s, I have the same mindset!

You might be a people pleaser if…

I am a recovering people pleaser. Notice the emphasis on the word “recovering.” I haven’t mastered the concept yet, but with the Lord’s help, I’ve come a long way.

A quote the other day made me think about whom we are aiming to please. God? People? A convicting question. So how do we know if we are pleasing people instead of God?

You might be a people pleaser if…

1. You care too much about what people think.
2. You spend too much time wondering if people like you. You are constantly wondering if this person truly sees you as a friend, if they truly like you, or if you are important to them.
3. Confrontation frightens you. Your knees quiver at the thought of another’s wrath directed upon you. So you do everything you can to avoid confrontation, even if it means agreeing with something your gut instinct warns you against.
4. You worry about hurting the feelings of others. Then worry again. Over and over. It keeps you awake at night. What if something you said caused someone pain? What if they can’t sleep because of your unintentional comment?
5. You have a difficult time saying “no.”
6. You are an overthinker.

So, how do we people pleasers combat these symptoms?

1. Realize it is God you should aim to please and not man. For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ. ~ Galatians 1:10
2. Do everything for God and not for man. Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for men. Colossians 3:23
3. Learn from the wisest man and perhaps the one with the most experience in this matter. If anyone understood the problem of pleasing others, it was Solomon. Look at how he tried to please his multitude of wives and concubines…and where it got him. He states it well in Proverbs: The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe. ~ Proverbs 29:25
4. Don’t fear man’s opinion. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?~ Romans 8:31
5. In the end, it’s not man’s opinion that’s going to matter. We are not trying to please people but God, who tests our hearts. ~ 1Thessalonians 2:4b
   
6. Trust in man is faulty. It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man. ~ Psalm 118:8

Working to please God does not carry the drama, heartache, and rejection that attempting to please people does. He never lets us down. His love is unconditional, whereas people’s love is conditional. God never loves us less when we fail. People will be sure to let you know what they think of you when you fail them.

Easier said than done, right? I am learning how important to place our focus on Him, rather than ourselves and those we aim to please. It has taken me going through trials to learn that people-pleasing is not the answer and not what I should strive for.

Hopefully someday by God’s grace, I will be able to confidently say, I am a recovered people pleaser.

Nothing is Hidden

My husband, bless his heart, loves “daylight” light bulbs. (Some might say it is an obsession). Recently, he replaced all the regular light bulbs in our house with “daylight” light bulbs, including the ones in the bathrooms.

“You can see a whole lot better now,” he said.

A whole lot better is right!

My husband does have a good point. It is easier to read, write, cook, and homeschool with better lighting.

But really, ignorance was bliss when it came to the lighting in the bathroom. Sure, I now can put my makeup on correctly without missing a spot. And I can for sure see a lot easier if something is in my eye, but…

Every wrinkle, every zit, every gray hair is now more visible than ever before. Did I mention those under eye circles from staying up too late working on my current novel?

Before the replacement of the regular bulbs with the”daylight” light bulbs, I couldn’t see any of those aforementioned things very well.

Now nothing is hidden.

Such a thought reminds me of the verse that says “Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account.” ~ Hebrews 4:13

There is nothing that we do or say that is hidden from God. More profound is the fact that nothing we think and no emotion is hidden from our Lord. As the verse says, it is all laid bare before Him.

He knows every thought and every action – even those things done in secret. Nothing escapes His attention.

So now I am adjusting – albeit grudgingly – to the “daylight” light bulbs in the bathrooms. I am seeing the “new” me a bit clearer these days.

And as the “new” me, it brings to mind that I am a new creation in Christ, and my thoughts, actions, and words ought to reflect that.

 

 

9 recently-released Movies for your next family night

Every Friday, the Zeller family can be found popping enormous bowls of popcorn and watching a family movie for family night.

As a family who guards their eyes against many of the typical Hollywood-fare movies, we are constantly on the hunt for clean movies. People ask me frequently if there are such movies – movies that are well-done, clean, and void of language, sexuality, and gratuitous violence.

My answer? Yes! There are many, many good movies out there that fit this criteria.

How do I know? Because our entertainment center is chock full of such movies. And as one who has reviewed dozens of movies, I am always on the lookout for movies to add to my list of family-approved movies.

Below are nine recently-released movies for your next family night in no particular order:

1. Fixer Upper – All-right, so who doesn’t love Chip and Joanna Gaines? Two seasons have been recently released on DVD; and four seasons have been released for download. Step inside the world of the Gaines family where they complete amazing “before” and “after” houses for everyday families.
2. Wish for Christmas – Although a Christmas movie, this one is excellent to watch any time of the year. A mix of humor and drama, this also includes a great lesson of putting others before ourselves.
3. Priceless – Are you a fan of the music duo For King & Country? Then you may recognize the lead actor in this phenomenal film, Joel Smallbone. The movie (appropriate for those 13 and older) is a well-done drama about a woman and her sister unknowingly trapped in the sex trafficking trade. Will they be rescued in time?
4. Coffee Shop – Remember the awesome series, Sue Thomas, F.B.Eye? The producers of that series have just released this new drama (complete with some humor and romance). A coffee shop owner is about to lose her shop. What happens when love enters the picture?
5. The Wild Brothers Series – The Wild Family serve as missionaries in New Guinea. Come along as they share their experiences. The graphics are phenomenal, the message superb, and the family awesome. Perfect for all ages!
6. The Jungle Book – This new version has incredible graphics. There are a few scary scenes that will likely be frightening for the youngest of viewers.
7. Love Finds You in Valentine – Having a girls’ night with your daughters? Love Finds You in Valentine is just the ticket with its touch of drama and romance. When a city girl inherits a farm, will she decide to keep it?
8. Karen Kingsbury’s The Bridge – With two DVDs depicting characters’ lives within a seven-year time span, viewers almost feel as though they are friends with the main characters, who go through trials and tribulations. An excellent movie of love, faith, and hope.
9. The Peanuts Movie – Really, who doesn’t love the Peanuts? I remember reading my big thick Peanuts book as a child. While some newer renditions of movies tend to disappoint, The Peanuts Movie does just the opposite. A movie for all ages, it’s perfect for family night.

What are some family-friendly movies your family enjoys?

A bit more expensive (but still reasonable!) pieces of exercise equipment

Last week, I posted about 7 inexpensive pieces of equipment to jump start your workout.

Today, we’ll look at some more expensive (but still reasonable!) pieces of exercise equipment to enhance your workout.

1. A Bosu ball. I first used a Bosu ball at the gym during a weight training class and fell in love with it immediately. Easy on the back and neck and super-effective for situps and planks, a Bosu ball is a bit pricey, but worth every cent.

2. A BodyBar. I have personally found the BodyBar so much easier and more versatile than hand-weights. Prices vary based on the weight. I purchased mine directly from the BodyBar website.

3. A fitness tracker. The preferences for fitness trackers are varied and range in price from economy to super-expensive. Fitness trackers can do everything from calorie count, heartrate, to steps taken, to logging in different exercises. I absolutely love the Fitbit Surge my husband surprised me with last year for my birthday.

A more economical way to count your steps would be a run-of-the-mill pedometer. Another option is the variety of fitness apps available today. While I have not used it personally, I have heard good things about myfitnesspal.

What types of equipment have you found useful for your home gym?

 

**Please be sure to check with your physician before starting any new exercise program or varying your current workout.

7 inexpensive pieces of exercise equipment to jump start your workout

Getting into shape doesn’t have to be expensive. Below are seven inexpensive pieces of exercise equipment to jump start your workout.**

1. Resistance loop bands. Need to work your upper and lower body? Resistance bands are excellent and versatile for just this purpose. Allergic to latex? I found some bands by LIV Active in different strengths that are latex free and perfect for shoulders, upper arms, and even leg exercises.

2. Hula hoop. A great way to whittle your waist…crank the music and hula hoop to your heart’s delight! Hula hoops come in both weighted varieties and non-weighted varieties. While the weighted hula hoop works well for many, I don’t use mine much because it has caused bruising. Rather, I have found my cheap lightweight Walmart hula hoop a useful piece of equipment to integrate into my workout.

3. Jump rope.Want a good cardio workout, but can’t get outside for a run? Try jump roping. Again, these come in weighted varieties, but even a standard is more than sufficient and offers heart-healthy benefits, strengthens the body, and burns calories. A portable piece of exercise equipment, it can go anywhere tucked in a purse or suitcase. My daughters and I recently headed out to the driveway and tested out our new double jump rope. With a daughter turning each end, I was thrilled to discover that I could still do double-Dutch and remember the songs from my childhood days on the playground.

4. Water bottles. Don’t have hand weights? Try out two standard 16.9 ounce water bottles for an easy upper body workout.

5. A chair. Speaking of upper body workouts, tricep dips on a chair can work wonders for that flabby under-part of the arm that’s traditionally difficult to tone. An informative way to do tricep dips correctly with a chair can be found here.

6. A dog leash. Stretching is critical to a well-rounded workout to avoid injury. Using a dog leash to stretch the calf muscles after exercise is easy and effective. Details on how to stretch properly with a leash can be found here.

7. An effective playlist. All right, so I added this one in because as one who has taught a variety of aerobic workouts at three different gyms, I know for certain that no workout is quite as powerful and sufficient without the right tunes.

Join me next week, and we’ll look at some more expensive (but still reasonable!) pieces of exercise equipment to enhance your workout.

**Please be sure to check with your physician before starting any new exercise program or varying your current workout.

quick and easy delicious crock-pot chili (gluten free)

We’ve had extremely cold weather this year, so what better meal than a crock pot of chili? Here’s the quick and easy directions for a delicious dinner of crock-pot chili – one of our personal family favorites:

The night before: wash, then soak 2 1/2 cups of pinto beans according to directions on package. If you forget to soak them the night before, no problem. Simply wash the beans, then boil them until softened the day of the meal.

Brown a package of hamburger meat.

Combine the hamburger meat and the softened pinto beans in the crock pot. Add two cans of Hunt’s Dinner Starters seasoned Tomato Sauce for Chili.

Add two cans of water and stir.

Turn your crock-pot to low and let simmer throughout the day, stirring on occasion.

For side dishes: fresh spinach or tossed salad and homemade cornbread. 🙂

Enjoy!

*Note: Since my husband is Celiac, this is a safe meal for him. At the time of this posting, my research concluded that Hunt’s Dinner Starters Seasoned Tomato Sauce for Chili was gluten free. If you have a food allergy, always double check the label and call the company (or find their website online) to determine if the product is gluten free.

We use The Cravings Place Grandma’s Unsweetened Cornbread Mix (gluten free, wheat free, nut free, dairy free) for the cornbread. We add honey to the mix (per package directions) to sweeten.

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Tweetables

Quick and easy delicious gluten free crock-pot chili recipe (click to tweet)

Perfect dinner idea for a cold day! (click to tweet)

What’s for dinner? (click to tweet)

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Don’t Miss this Upcoming Conference for Women of All Ages!

I’m super excited to share with you about a conference coming to the Southeast for MOMS, MENTORS, and MINISTRY LEADERS!

It’s BETTER TOGETHER, a conference by The M.O.M. Initiative and it’s for women of ALL ages and in ALL seasons.

It’s a conference for you!

Being a mama isn’t easy and kids don’t come with instructions… and sometimes we just need to step away from things to refuel and be refreshed.

And being a ministry leader can be daunting, and at times, we need to just get away and get our batteries recharged and gain a fresh new perspective that will fire us up to keep on keepin’ on!

SOMETIMES…we just need a weekend to laugh together, cry together, and discover you’re not alone in your journey. BETTER TOGETHER is a weekend to connect with women just like you….moms, wives, single moms, moms in blended families, divorced moms, moms of teens, moms of toddlers, grandmas and ministry leaders.

With powerful keynotes from moms and ministry leaders just like you, and over 40 breakout sessions that are taught by experienced leaders and include a wide range of topics such as:

• When Motherhood Should Come with a Training Manual
• You Can’t Be 1/2 a Mom (for moms in blended families)
• Social Media Wise Parents
• Bully Proof
• Balancing Life and Ministry
• Fight for Your Family
• The Making of a Mom
• Lord, Help My Marriage
• Building a Top Notch Team
• Reaching the Hard to Reach Child

And MANY MORE BREAKOUTS that will meet you right where you are!

You’ll experience an amazing time of worship with The Journey Worship Band, you’ll learn, you’ll share, you’ll grow in Christ… and as a mother… and as a mentor… and ministry leader.

Expect to have fun, meet other moms, find hope and encouragement, and laugh…a lot!

• Great worship with the live band
• Lots of giveaways!
• Late Night Bash with the M.O.M.s on Friday night!
• Lots of opportunities to shop in the Exhibit Hall!
• 15 Minutes with M.O.M. appointments where you can meet a M.O.M. and chat about what is on your heart
• Lots of breakout sessions (over 40) to help you in your mom journey, your mentor journey or your ministry journey!
• Panel Talk on Saturday with some of YOUR questions answered by the M.O.M. team!

Here’s the details:

When: July 31st – August 2nd, 2014

Where: Trinity Baptist Church, Jacksonville, Florida

How Much: Only $49 ($39 for tickets purchased before 12/1/13 & groups of 10 or more)

How: CLICK HERE TO REGISTER NOW!

More Info: Click here for more information

Seating is limited so you will want to get your tickets now and invite your friends!

You’ll be empowered, encouraged, refreshed and refueled…ready to fulfill your God-given calling with the confidence of knowing you don’t have to take your mom journey alone.

Don’t miss THE Southeast’s MOM conference of the year, BETTER TOGETHER by The M.O.M. Initiative…

Because we are ALL better together!