Real-life Funnies

Penny Zeller, Christian Author
And now we interrupt this blog for some real-life funnies!

1. A case of mistaken identity.

The other day my daughters and I were at the local YMCA where we spend most of our time. I’m seriously thinking of just moving in with sleeping bags and suitcases since it already feels as though we live there due to my girls’ nonstop athletic activities.

The day was long and we’d just finished with practice. As we walked through the crowded hallway, I saw a man I knew from church. “Hi J.R.!” I exclaimed. “How are you?”

He smiled and nodded. “Fine. And you?”

“Doing good,” I answered.

It wasn’t until we arrived home and I was cooking dinner that I realized something very disturbing about the acquaintance from church named J.R. I had called him the wrong name! His name wasn’t J.R. It was Nathan!

2.  Nicknames for classmates who are boys.

The other day my oldest announced to me that our youngest was in trouble for calling the boys in her class at school names. “Doodle,” I asked our youngest, “What were calling the boys at school?”

I braced myself for the worst.

“Mom, they were swinging on the swings at school,” Doodle answered, trying to avoid the question.

“That’s fine, but what were you calling them?” I asked.

“Chihuahuas,” she muttered.

“Mom, the boys got mad at her,” announced tattletale Sunshine. “They don’t like being called Chihuahuas.”

I spent the next several minutes explaining to Doodle why no one wants to be called a dog…

No matter how cute they are, no one wants to be called a dog.

3. Back for seconds…and thirds…and fourths…

Those of you who follow my blog know that my grandpa, Papa, passed away in December, 2009, and I love sharing memories of him. During one of our visits with my grandparents, Lon took Papa out for lunch at the all-you-can-eat buffet at the Golden Corral. Lon laughed as he recounted to me later the story of how Papa, who was on a restricted diet due to heart disease, took full advantage of the lunch – a lunch without my grandma there to keep an eye on him.

For starters, Papa put a small  baked potato and a piece of meatloaf on his plate. “It’s good to be healthy,” Papa told Lon.

Would Papa’s secret be safe with Lon?

After Papa quickly finished the baked potato and meatloaf, he went for seconds. Lon figured he’d come back with more “healthy”‘ foods…maybe some green beans, salad, or steak.

Not so. Papa had loaded his plate with several slices of chocolate pie. He then returned to the buffet line for chocolate cake…not once, not twice, but several times more. “Now, this is just between us,” said Papa in between bites of chocolate cake. “Don’t tell Nanie [my grandma] about how I’m having a few pieces of cake.”

Lon nodded. Yes, some things were left best between a man and his grandpa.

4. Kids say the funniest things…

I love the things that come out of the mouths of babes. Sunshine and Doodle were playing with their toy horses the other day. Eavesdropping, I heard Sunshine say, “Now, Doodle, you pretend that you are nine-years-old and middle-aged.” My eyes popped out of my head. Since when was nine-years-old middle aged…and more importantly…as one in my 30s, what did that make me? An antique? A fossil?

I’d love to hear some of your real-life funnies! As Proverbs 15:13 tells us,  “a happy heart makes the face cheerful….”

Be sure to check out my other recent humor post about some hilarious names parents name their children in What’s in a Name…