The 13 Types of Facebook People

Ever given thought to the different types of people on Facebook? Perhaps you might recognize a few of these from your timeline feed. ūüôā

13 types of facebook people

  1. The Daily Diary –¬†She chronicles everything in her life in play-by-play fashion. Everything from what she ate at her last meal to what she wears, to the things that irritate her…everything is journaled as a Facebook post every hour on the hour nearly every day.
  2. The Encourager – A somewhat rare breed, the encourager’s main goal in life is to post Scripture verses, quotes, and images to inspire others. She is on Facebook, not for herself, but for the benefit of brightening the days of her Facebook friends.
  3. Contrary Larry – You weren’t looking to get into a debate when you posted that harmless photo of your dog, but Contrary Larry always has a contradictory or disagreeable statement to make about everything.
  4. The Stalker – This lurking-type individual rarely posts anything of her own, but continually stalks the posts of others. She quite often says things, such as, “Hey, you were on Facebook last night at precisely 9:45 p.m. How come you didn’t answer the message I sent to you?” Could be because stalkers are well…creepy.
  5. The Perpetual Poster – You know the type. He posts constantly. Did I mention constantly? Seven, eight, nine posts within a two-hour span is not uncommon for the Perpetual Poster. Looking to find the one in a million posts of his that was actually interesting? Good luck. You’ll be sifting through a gazillion posts.
  6. The Never Like-er – Quick to admit that she prefers not to like anyone else’s posts, the Never Like-er demands you like her posts in a strange double-standard sort of way. Of course, if you don’t like her posts and she corners you at Walmart, she’s sure to let you know she’s offended by your lack of social interaction on social media.
  7. The True Friend – A rare breed indeed, the true friend appreciates the value of interaction on Facebook. Not only does she value such interaction, she’s the first to offer to pray when you post prayer requests.true friendship
  8. Vanishing Vance – One minute this odd friend is active on Facebook. The next minute, he has taken a break and closed his account. The following week, he’s reactivated his account and so on. Poor guy can’t make up his mind.
  9. Chatty Charlie – It doesn’t matter whose Facebook wall he’s on, Chatty Charlie is sure to carry on a conversation starting in the comments. Before you know it, Chatty Charlie has engaged in conversation with another “commenter” on your wall about nothing that even pertains to the original post. Thankfully, about 35 posts later, C.C. realizes the conversation is going nowhere and moves on to the next post.
  10. Selfie Sally – As vain as they come, Selfie Sally is sure to have several posts of herself each week. Word on the street is that she actually invented the selfie stick.selfie person
  11. Mr. Political Sure, I like a good chat about politics every now and then, but Mr. Political is way overboard. Every. Single. Post. Is about politics and if you dare disagree with him? Your friend count just went down one.the white house
  12. Perpetual Test-Taker Tammy – What type of flower are you? In what state should you live? If there’s a personality test on the internet, Perpetual Test-Taker Tammy has taken it –¬† and has posted about it.
  13. The Photo-Shop Queen – Not a wrinkle or spot of cellulite on her, the Photo-Shop Queen painstakingly removes all imperfections, including the tiny mole on her forearm.¬† In short, she looks like a model. At first, you think perhaps she hasn’t aged at all since your high school graduation back in 1954. But then, when you see her at your 40th class reunion, you think maybe her account has been hacked and someone has changed all her photos. ūüôā

What types of Facebook people have you encountered?

5 resolutions to make even though it’s not New Year’s

Penny Zeller, Christian Author

All right, so it’s not New Year’s, not even close and we certainly don’t want to rush time away. However, here are a few suggestions for resolutions to make any day of the year…

1. Laugh more. In our world of stress, it’s nice to be able to find humor in the small things. “Laughter, along with an active sense of humor, may help protect you against a heart attack, according to a new study by cardiologists at the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore.”

The Bible talks about laughter – and let’s not forget who created laughter. He also created our mouths to turn upward, our tummies to shake, and our eyes to tear when provoked with humor. Kids provide the best humor and pets can bring about some laughter as well!

2. Stay in touch.¬† In our day of modern technology, it’s easier than ever to stay in touch with those we love. One night Lon called me from his cell phone while he was in the driveway arriving home from work. I answered the house phone and we had a great conversation, continuing as he entered the door of our house and as we stood face to face with phones pressed up against our ears.

Hey, it’s good for a marriage to communicate, right?

Communication is important...even if you're as different as an ostrich and a kangaroo.

Communication is important…even if you’re as different as an ostrich and a kangaroo.

 

3. Make healthy lifestyle changes. It’s probably safe to say that most of us at one time or another have made a resolution to lose weight and/or get more exercise.

One evening Lon said as he rested on the living room floor, “I’m getting ready to do a situp.”

I wondered why anyone would want to do a situp at 8:00 p.m., so I asked him why not wait until he works out in the morning. “Because I’d like to have another cookie,” he told me. He was of the one situp equals one cookie philosophy.

Another time, he decided to do an experiment. Before Christmas dinner, Lon weighed himself. After the meal, he weighed himself again. The prognosis? He’d gained five pounds in that short time after eating my mom’s famous Christmas dinner. However, men have it good. For us women, we need only to look at a delicious Christmas dinner with all the trimmings to gain five pounds!

Not only can we make healthy lifestyle changes and care for the body God gave us, we can also make spiritual changes and vow to dig into God’s Word more frequently. Make a vow to turn everything over to Him as well and make the resolution to rid yourself of worry. Now that’s a good lifestyle change I need to adopt!

4. Vow to serve others.  Make a vow to serve others and truly love your neighbor as yourself as stated in Matthew 19:19.  Making homemade cookies for Lon is one way to make him feel special.  Speaking of cookies, check out this hilarious post about the time Lon overdosed on no-bake cookies! For more ideas on ways to serve others see my post Blessing Others.

 5. Use your gifts.

Use the gifts and talents God gave you...

God gave us all gifts to use to further His Kingdom.

Just be sure not to do things that aren’t your gifts. Case in point:¬† a few years ago, I received a new MP3 player. Wow, what a pleasure to listen to my contemporary Christian rock music while working out at the gym! I learned the hard way, however, about adjusting to modern technology.

During my workout, I was rocking out to Brandon Heath’s Give Me Your Eyes and forgetting that I alone had the earphones to listen to this song. What I didn’t realize was that I was singing out loud. (Wasn’t everyone in the gym listening to Brandon Heath?!)

As I belted out the words to the song and did my leg curls, I soon heard a familiar voice. One that was off-pitch and kind of nasal-y. Yep. It was my voice (talk about embarrassment).

But it is important to use the gifts we have been given. Are you gifted with kids? Why not volunteer to teach Sunday School? Are you gifted with a beautiful voice (I’ll try not to covet!) then use it to lead the worship team at church. Can you sew? Why not offer to mend some clothes for those who cannot afford new ones?

What resolutions would you make even though it’s not New Year’s?

why I’m not a master chef

Penny Zeller, Christian Author

One evening, Lon was called back to work. “Don’t worry,” I assured him. “I can grill the pork chops.”

“Don’t forget to keep an eye on them so they don’t burn.” Lon is a master with the BBQ grill and he had planned on grilling the pork chops for our dinner that night. As he headed out the door, he¬†asked, “Are you sure you can handle the grilling?”

“No problem,” I said. “What can be so hard about grilling?”¬†¬†

¬†I dreamed of winning awards for being a¬†BBQ chef and master¬†griller mama…

And the winner of the International Porkchop Grilling Competition is...Penny Zeller!!!

Disclaimer:  By the way, this was my first time ever grilling porkchops ever!

After pre-heating the grill and placing the pork chops on it, I set the timer for 12 minutes, per the package instructions. I then helped the kids with homework, folded laundry, and loaded dishes into the dishwasher. I watched the grill from the window and all looked well. My first time grilling was turning out to be a cinch. Perhaps I could even become a pro at it. After all, I love to bake!

Unfortunately, the timer went off while I was¬†out of the room. “Mom! The buzzer went off!”¬†the kids yelled.

“All right! I’ll be¬†there in a minute!” I continued¬†my chores, then walked out to the deck to retrieve the chops.¬†I was horrifed by what I saw.¬†

However, as one who always tries to see the bright side of things, I quickly reasoned that meat should be well-done to kill any bacteria.

Lon wasn’t so eager to embrace my grilling (in)abilities. When I served¬†him the pork chop, he had a disturbed look on his face. “Did you forget to check on the pork chops?” he asked.

“Uh, sorry about that,” I muttered.¬†“We have watermelon and salad too.” But my suggestion was no use. The sight of the overly-done pork chop took precedence over anything I might say.

100_4765
No e coli here.

“Mom, is something wrong with the pork chops?”¬†Sunshine asked.

My dreams of becoming a master griller mama fizzled.

Lon wasn’t¬†too optimisitic. As though he was a¬†special¬†agent for the¬†FBI, he began to probe me with questions.¬†“How long approximately, were the chops on the grill?” “Was there smoke coming from the grill?”¬†“Was there something wrong with grill?”¬†He then proceeded to fully investigate the BBQ for signs of tampering.

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Lon investigates to see if perhaps the BBQ grill has been tampered with…

Back inside the house,  Lon reached for his fork. Before and after pictures are all the rage these days, so I thought it only fitting to provide a before picture of the very fork Lon used to cut his pork chop.

The "before" picture - the long, lean, svelte utensil

 

Lon attempted for the first time to cut into the pork chop. The fork wasn’t able to hold up under all the pressure.

Uh...Houston, we have a problem!

 

Never one to give up on his first try, Lon again attempted to cut into the pork chop.

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Still to no avail, Lon tried once more to cut into the delicattesan that I had prepared for dinner.

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The after picture and strike three!

We mourned the loss of the fork that would never be the same after its valiant attempts to cut into a pork chop. Wiping a tear from my eye, I knew that my career as a master griller mama was quickly coming to an end. From now on, I would stick to my Maytag double oven when making dinner.

No sooner had I wiped the last tear when Lon ran out to the garage. “It’s time to call in the big guy,” he said.

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Thank the Lord for Dewalt!

I’m happy to say (and my family will happily agree) that I am no longer grilling pork chops. From now on, that’s Lon’s department!