5 ways to be your “sweet self”

From as far back as I can remember, my mom has always used the saying, “just be your sweet self.”

Whether in day-to-day life or dealing with a difficult situation, my mom reminded my siblings and me that being our sweet selves was, in essence, treating others as we would like to be treated and loving our neighbor. Even when someone was unkind, our response was not to be one of retaliation or revenge, but of kindness.

Easier said than done, to be sure. It’s not always easy to be our “sweet self” to the difficult people we encounter in our daily lives. It’s a continual growing process made possible only with constant prayer and the help of the Holy Spirit.

Here  are five ways to practice being your “sweet self”:

• Seek to bless others. Pray each morning for a chance to bless someone else – and watch God provide the opportunity!
• Give the benefit of the doubt. We’ve all jumped to conclusions about another’s thought life or motives. But no one knows for sure what someone else is thinking, or what their true heart motive is. So…when in doubt, give the benefit of the doubt. Think the best of people.
• Be polite. “Please,” and “thank you” are no longer used as often as they should be. Seek to use good manners, no matter what your age. (And teach your children to do the same!)
• Live in the moment. Time passes quickly, and we can never recapture those lost moments again. Live in the moment – take the time for that hug from your husband. Spend time with your children. Visit that elderly neighbor who struggles with loneliness. Spend time in the Word and in worship of our Savior.

• Strive to be worthy of your calling. One of my favorite verses and one of the prayers of my heart is Ephesians 4:1. Paul is admonishing us to “live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” If you are seeking to honor God in all that you say and do, you will have an easier time being your “sweet self”.

What are some ways you practice being your “sweet self”?

 

 

How to Instill Compassion and Servanthood in Your Children

Ephesians 6:7 says “Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord and not men.“   However, just telling our children to serve others isn’t enough. We need to model compassion for others to our children.

How can we, as parents, grandparents, teachers, and youth leaders, make the application for our children from the physical act of service to the motive we need to have?

Our motive must be for Jesus and not ourselves. Matthew 6:3 says “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing…” Explaining to our children that we help others, not so we can brag about it, but so that we can honor Jesus is a great step in explaining this passage.

1. Remind our children to put others first in a me-first society. Teaching our children (and modeling it through our own behavior) to put others before ourselves can be a daunting task.

I’ll never forget when my girls were toddlers and I had split a cookie in half (inadvertently, one piece ended up slightly larger than the other) and told them to each choose a piece. I watched from afar to see how things would unfold. My oldest, Sunshine, told my youngest, Doodle, “It’s important that the person who picks first should pick the smallest.” I grinned. Sunshine was getting it!

A moment later, my smile faded as I listened to the rest of Sunshine’s rationale.  “And, Doodle, you can pick first.”

“I’m supposed to pick the smaller piece,” said Doodle.

“Yes you are,” agreed Sunshine, with a glint in her eye.

I watched as Doodle picked the smaller piece, leaving the larger piece for Sunshine, who  knew how to manipulate the system!

Our job is to continue to impress the importance of putting others first on our children, even when they don’t “get it” the first, second or one-hundredth time!

Fast forward to many years later. Sunshine is now one of the most generous and giving people I know. She is the first to give assistance, even without being asked, and the first to share what she has with others.

2.  Hone in on each child’s unique personality and their God-given gifts. Each child has their own unique personality and will each have different ideas of what types of service projects they would like to undertake. In addition, they each have their own spiritual gifts.

Doodle has a heart for world missions and decided at age five that she wants to be a missionary to Haiti. She has never once wavered from that goal.

Sunshine has a deep love and devotion for younger children and has already been a mentor and childcare worker at our church, a VBS teacher, and a soccer coach.

Discover your child’s gift and passion. Discuss with them and ask if they could help one person in this world, who would it be? And what type of help would they want to provide? Some children have a heart for animals; some have a heart for those who are terminally ill. Still others have a heart that breaks for those in orphanages or foster care.

3. It’s never too early to start our children on the path of serving and blessing others. We started our children serving others when they were babies and would accompany us to the nursing homes. Although they don’t recall the details of those days, my husband and I were still cementing within our children a permanent foundation of following Jesus’ command to love their neighbor.

5. Pray as a family that God would place someone in your family’s path – someone who needs help. Allow each child their turn to pray for this important topic.

6. Pray for those in your neighborhood. Each month, we choose two families in our neighborhood to pray for. We have also gone on walks and runs in our neighborhood and prayed for the people who live in each house.

 Serving others fosters Christian fellowship both within your own family and with your neighbors – it unites families and brings us closer to God and each other.

For more ideas, including “Up for Discussion” questions at the end of each chapter to help families look deeper into the reasons behind each activity, check out 77 Ways Your Family Can Make a Difference.

How to Instill Compassion and Servanthood in Your Children

Ephesians 6:7 says “Serve wholeheartedly, as if you were serving the Lord and not men.“   However, just telling our children to serve others isn’t enough. We need to model compassion for others to our children.

So how can we, as parents, grandparents, teachers, and youth leaders, make the application for our children from the physical act of service to the motive we need to have? For one thing, our motive must be for Jesus and not ourselves. Matthew 6:3 says “But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing…” Explaining to our children that we help others, not so we can brag about it, but so that we can honor Jesus is a great step in explaining this passage.

1. Remind our children to put others first in a me-first society. Teaching our children (and modeling it through our own behavior) to put others before ourselves can be a daunting task.

I’ll never forget when my girls were younger and I had split a cookie in half (inadvertently, one piece ended up slightly larger than the other) and told them to each choose a piece. I watched from afar to see how things would unfold. My oldest, Sunshine, told my youngest, Doodle, “It’s important that the person who picks first should pick the smallest.” I grinned. Sunshine was getting it!

A moment later, my smile faded as I listened to the rest of Sunshine’s rationale.  “And, Doodle, you can pick first.”

“I’m supposed to pick the smaller piece,” said Doodle.

“Yes you are,” agreed Sunshine, with a glint in her eye.

I watched as Doodle picked the smaller piece, leaving the larger piece for Sunshine, who  knew how to manipulate the system!

Our job is to continue to impress the importance of putting others first on our children, even when they don’t “get it” the first, second or one-hundredth time! (A side note: years later, Sunshine is now one of the most generous and giving people I know!) 🙂

2.  Hone in on each child’s unique personality and their God-given gifts. Each child has their own unique personality and will each have different ideas of what types of service projects they would like to undertake. In addition, they each have their own spiritual gifts. One of my children has a heart for world missions and has decided she wants to be a missionary. She is the vice-president of her missions club and she already receives a fair amount of mail!

My other child has absolutely no interest in missions. However, she has a deep love and devotion for younger children and at her tender age is already a mentor and childcare worker at our church.

Discover your child’s gift and passion. Discuss with them and ask if they could help one person in this world, who would it be? And what type of help would they want to provide? Some children have a heart for animals; some have a heart for those who are terminally ill. Still others have a heart that breaks for those in orphanages or foster care.

3. Allow your children to see the benefits that can be found by including your neighbors or others in your community in the service acts. I remember a couple of years ago when a friend of mine discovered her young son had cancer. It was amazing to me to see the Body of Christ join together to come alongside of this family in their time of need. Denominational lines were crossed as several different Bible-based churches offered daily prayer support, made and/or purchased meals, remodeled their home, made monetary donations toward the medical bills, and held fundraisers.

All over the country, communities and churches are coming together in amazing ways for the benefit of those who struggle with life-threatening illnesses, natural disasters, and unemployment – and it’s making such a difference!

4. It’s never too early to start our children on the path of serving and blessing others. We started our children serving others when they were babies and would accompany us to the nursing homes. Although they don’t recall the details of those days, my husband and I were still cementing within our children a permanent foundation of following Jesus’ command to love their neighbor.

5. Pray as a family that God would place someone in your family’s path – someone who needs help. Allow each child their turn to pray for this important topic.

6. Allow each child to choose someone to help on a regular basis.

7. And then serve with your family! And serve again and again! Serving fosters Christian fellowship both within your own family and with your neighbors – it unites families and brings us closer to God and each other.

For more ideas, including “Up for Discussion” questions at the end of each chapter to help families look deeper into the reasons behind each activity, check out 77 Ways Your Family Can Make a Difference available at your favorite bookstore.