Note: I will randomly be posting funny stereotypes on my blog in between my usual “Importance Series”, “Movie Mondays”, and other usual posts.
There are many different types of people who use the gym each day. Do you recognize any of the following? Or…can you identity with anyone on this list?
The Wannabee Bodybuilder – Watches his muscles in the mirrors, flexes, grunts, makes over-exaggerated movements. Perhaps he has a too-healthy sense of self. Telltale identifiers: wears tank tops to show off his “large” muscles, too-tight of clothing to enhance his build, and walks with inflated superiority.
The Rebellious Participant – Doesn’t think that following instructions in a group fitness class is really necessary. She does her own thing, whether it be the exercises or the stretches. She even has earbuds in and listens to her own music and avoids all instruction. The rebellious participant has always wanted to teach her own class, so she does her own thing to get into practice. Telltale identifier: deliberately ignores the instructor’s workout prompts while partaking in exercises that have nothing to do with the class she’s in.
The Crabby Growler – Complains about EVERYTHING. Don’t even attempt to cheer up the Crabby Growler. Nothing works. For him, everyday is a bad day. Telltale identifier: his trademark permanent scowl and perpetual whining.
The Bubbly Extrovert – Likes to chat with everyone everywhere about everything. On the way to the exercise machines, on the way from the weight room, during exercise class, and everywhere in between. Telltale identifier: She exudes happiness and bears an ever-present smile while waving enthusiastically to everyone in the vicinity.
Mister Musical Machines– Moves from machine to machine, never staying on one for more than five seconds. He starts with the treadmill before moving on to the elliptical, then the recumbent bike. His favorite childhood game was musical chairs. Telltale identifier: never wipes down machines in between hopping from one to the next, and moves so fast you can’t keep track of him.
The Vulture – She has it all planned out which machine or exercise bike she wants. EVERY TIME. Her name is on it in gold lettering. Touch her machine and your life expectancy will drop dramatically. Telltale identifier: Her gaze is fixed on her machine from the doorway, and she ramrods her way through until she has staked her claim.
The Monopolizer – He thinks he owns the gym. That walkway between the ellipticals and treadmills? Yep, that’s his designated stretching place, even when the space meant for stretching is completely empty. Those weight machines in the weight room? They all belong to him. Telltale identifier: his personal belongings litter the gym, from his water bottle, gym bag, sleeping bag, and recliner. You can’t get around him, and must wait for him to move before reaching your intended destination.
Alexander Graham Bell’s great-great-great-great-great granddaughter – She CANNOT miss a call, so she makes sure she is always on the phone. And she talks loud enough so that you can have the privilege of enjoying her conversation above your own music, even when you have earbuds. Telltale identifier: she is the only one with her cell phone as an extra appendage.
The Walking Germ Spreader – He takes being generous too far and is only too happy to share his germs with everyone else via coughing and sneezing without covering his mouth. The force of his coughs and sneezes rivals the strongest of fans and you go home fearing you may have contracted some rare disease. Telltale identifier: He is constantly heard saying “It’s just allergies”.
What other stereotypes have you come across at the gym?